Have you ever finished researching an ancestral family member and felt unexplainably sad? Or maybe you’ve wrapped up reading a historical book and now you feel unsettled, almost as if you’re plagued by what you’ve read?
I’ve felt this before, many times over. For a while, I wondered why I felt that way. After all, I know that someone I’m researching from 1793 has been gone for decades, so why in the world would their loss affect me in any way? When I was in undergrad school, though, one of my history professors required that students read a book that said simply in one chapter: “I’m a historian. I’m haunted.” No, the book wasn’t talking about being haunted by ghosts, but rather the feeling of being “haunted” by what we read in documents and learn about the past. While I’ve long since forgotten the name of the book, the piece’s author, and the overarching theme of the work, those words have stuck with me for years.
Just recently, I finished research for a client via my business, History for the Ages. As I wrote the final line for the Research Report I crafted, I felt those same feelings of being haunted by the past and just, overall, incredibly sad that my research on this particular family was over. If you’ve felt the same, you’re certainly not alone! So join me as I look at a few reasons why historians can feel haunted and genealogists glum, plus a few tips for how to combat these post-project feelings.
There are a lot of reasons why researchers may feel like the “haunted historian” or “glum genealogist,” but here are just a few:
- You’ve Spent A Lot Of Time Researching – As a researcher, you’ve likely spent hours on a research project, whether you’re crafting a biographical sketch, drawing a verifiable connection between ancestors, or tracking down your family member’s military records. Once that research draws to a close, you’ll probably get a lot of time back in your days or weeks–but now you have to find new ways to fill those hours.
- You’re Invested In The Stories Of Real People – When you’re researching–either as a historian, genealogist, or both–you have the opportunity to view real stories about real people! But because the people you’re researching were real and true-to-life, you probably also feel like you’ve built genuine connections with these people of the past. Likely, you feel invested in their story, even if you never met them in-person.
- These Are Your Family Members – When you’re a genealogist researching your ancestors, these people aren’t abstract or impersonal. Instead, they’re your flesh and blood…your family. And as a genealogist, it’s probably safe to say that the whole “Blood is thicker than water” phrase isn’t just a catch-all for relatives today, but it often extends to our historical family, too.
- The Past Feels Personals…And Very Relevant – I research a lot of people, both relatives and non-relatives. As I do so, though, I don’t only get to discover the positive parts of these people’s lives. Oftentimes, I’m also reading and learning about the negative aspects of their life, such as accidents they were involved in, diseases that plagued them, and–ultimately–their death (and cause of death). All of this can leave researchers feeling unsettled, because when they’ve followed the lives of these individuals, they probably feel like they’ve grown to know them. And because they know these people, seeing the trials they faced–and not being able to do anything to change the outcome–can be difficult. As you’ve perhaps realized, just because an event happened 150 or 70 years ago doesn’t mean it feels impersonal or totally irrelevant, especially when you’ve spent hours of your life examining the past. Sometimes, an event that happened 200 years ago can almost feel like it happened 20 minutes ago, all because you’re immersing yourself in the past or actively engaging with your family’s story.
Now that you have an idea of why you may feel haunted or glum after research is over, let’s look at a few ways you may be able to overcome those sad feelings:
- Give Yourself Grace & Space – When I’ve finished researching individuals and feel incredibly sad that the project/research is over, I have to give myself the grace to recognize why I feel upset and the space to overcome those feelings. Sometimes, that might mean taking a break from research to read a fiction book, or maybe listen to an upbeat song. Other times, I might need to pick up another project immediately. Overall, I have to realize that even though my feelings may appear to be ridiculous (“Why am I grieving the loss of researching someone who lived 100 years ago?!“), my feelings are also valid. As genealogists and historians, we have the unique opportunity to actively interact and engage with family from by-gone eras, but with that opportunity also comes a unique connection with our ancestors that non-genealogists just don’t get to experience.
- Start A New Project – When I’m done with a research project, I free up a lot more time. But while this may seem like great news (and it is, in a respect!), it doesn’t always feel that way if it was a project I loved being a part of or there was a person I really enjoyed researching. I’ve found that one of the best ways to beat the blues is by picking up a new project.
- Get Out & Exercise – I love exercising, and one of my favorite parts is that the benefits aren’t purely physical–there are lots of mental and emotional benefits, too. Mayo Clinic notes several benefits of exercise, including that “Physical activity stimulates many brain chemicals that may leave you feeling happier, more relaxed and less anxious.” Because of the emotional boost, exercising after a research project ends–even a light walk–may increase your happiness overall. If you can find a group to work out with, even better. Obviously, always consult a doctor before starting an exercise regimen!
- Spend Time With Others – Sometimes, genealogy can feel like a solo activity, but it doesn’t have to be! At TSGS, we offer a space for individuals to connect with like-minded researchers through special events. If you’ve finished research and there’s not a genealogy-related event happening, you can still potentially push aside those unsettled or sad feelings by spending time with others. Whether you’re hanging out with family, grabbing dinner with friends, or even reading a book at a crowded coffee shop so that there’s lot of activity around you, if you’re like me, you’ll find that connecting with others can help increase positivity.
- Read A Book – When I’ve finished a research project or feel sad about what I’ve discovered in the past, I stow my laptop away and reach for a light-hearted read instead. There are plenty of historical fiction books that focus on positive historical themes, or you might grab a fun contemporary book. Whatever you fancy, picking a light-hearted book to read (or listen to, if you prefer audio stories) can help distract researchers from the unsettling aspects of the past.
- Catch Plenty of ZZZs – Stanford Medicine has shown that sleep has a direct impact to our mental and emotional wellbeing, with one doctor noting: “It’s becoming increasingly clear that sleep and mood have a bidirectional relationship.” Sleep is super important, so make sure that you’re not sacrificing your rest just so you can burrow deeper into a genealogical “rabbit hole.” For me, I find that limiting screen time before bed is helpful, and I avoid researching late in the evenings because I know that history and genealogy have a way of stimulating my mind. Recently, I also purchased a Nodpod weighted sleep mask, which is touted as having “3 Minute Magic” that promotes going to sleep–fast. While I haven’t necessarily found this to be true for myself, I will say that it dramatically helps reduce light, can be tucked in the fridge or freezer to cool (perfect for helping ease headaches!), and has a nice feel to it that can promote relaxation.
If you’ve felt haunted by history or glum after completing genealogy research, you’re not alone! Diving into the past is one of the most rewarding pastimes, but with that reward can also come difficulty, especially as you read about war and hardship, trials and trauma. While you might feel like the “haunted historian” or “glum genealogist,” I hope my tips help you find ways to overcome these feelings, but of course, please reach out to medical professionals for additional insight, guidance, and help. As always, it’s crucial to make sure your wellbeing isn’t pushed aside for the sake of a census, but that both genealogy and wellness can coexist.
Keep the History Alive!
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